S.S.S.

Sunshine. Snow. Sister.
I'm in Golden, a place I didn't know existed 3 months ago! My sister is working in the resort on the mountain, and being the awesome sister that I am, I came to stay with her for a week during the winter break.

Its amazing to take such a sweet break after being so overwhelmed these past few months. I love being busy and working hard, but I'm only human. I'm trying not to worry about the dough I'm spending while up here. It's a resort for heavens sake! Things are pricey and my sister definitely doesn't have money to share, so I'm just going to have suck it up and pamper myself ;) I had to take a cab up to the hill, which was $45! GROSS. Now we have to figure out food. I'm here though, and I had the means to get here so no complaining. Money is meant to be spent and I have the rest of my life to make more. It'll be okay. Really. Seriously. BE YOUNG ANNE - this is your last official Christmas as a teen!

I stayed up late last night with my sister Catherine. She's been pretty lonely up here as she doesn't know anyone, works alone during the night shift and sleeps during the day. It was nice to hear her talk :) You all probably are aware of how much I can talk; it was quite pleasant to have reversed. I love talking, but I seriously do like to listen to! ;)

The trip here took me 12 hours. 12 HOURS! I took as much advantage of that as I could. I brainstormed presents that I could make for my friends, contemplated whether the opposite sex has a brain, and prayed. I really like praying :)

Last week this friendly and young youth pastor went out for coffee with me and we talked about God for a good 45 min. It was neat and sorted out a lot of questions in my mind, though now they're jumbled a bit again.

The last two hours of my bus trip I spent talking to this gay Vietnamese 21 year old who lives in Australia and was in exchange in Canada. We talked about so many things! He definitely sparked my drive to travel across Canada!

As I was packing, I was wondering what I would forget (it's inevitable.) 5-ish hours later I realize that I forgot my bank card, meaning no dinner, but more urgently, no cab ride to the hotel at 3 in the morning. I was impressed that I didn't freak out. Internally, I wasn't exactly a cool cucumber, but I knew things would work out. We stopped in Kamloops and I asked locals for directions to TD Bank, which wasn't too far away. I raced there, got a new card, and then stopped at the grocery store. GO ME! ;)

The cab driver was really nice. Again, we talked about quite a bit. He comes from Ontario, was in the army for 30 years, his wife died of lung cancer, he's remarried and his new wife and him are taking four months to drive across Canada. It was like getting a ride from an uncle! Ironically when we reached my destination I discovered that they only take cash - no debit. HAHAHA. HA. ... HA :'( Luckily Catherine was there to save the day. Her co-worker gave her $45 from the cash register; we have to go find an ATM machine today to pay them back. I hope she doesn't get in trouble!

SO I FINALLY ARRIVED AT HER LODGE WHICH IS SO NICE!
WE WENT UPSTAIRS. HER ROOM IS SO NICE! ITS A FRICKEN HOTEL SUIT. NICE NICE NICE. SWANKY EVEN. And the view is spectacular.

We stayed up till like 5 talking, but I couldn't sleep past 10. The sunshine woke me up and after gawking at the view in the daylight I got dressed and skipped down to the little 'fitness room,' where I ran on the treadmill for 20 min and walked for 10.
Came back.
Showered.
Tried watching Toy Story, but lost interest.
Made breakfast for Catherine.
Did my hair.
Write my blog. ;)

Now I need to clean up the kitchen and do my makeup. Then we're off to town to get groceries and CASH. :)
I can't emphasize enough how happy I am. I wish I could bottle up this feeling in a jar for all those lonely desperate nights.

Those nights make me appreciate this all the more. All the early mornings I drag my flabby ass out of bed to finish the homework I was up till midnight before doing and then go to a 7 am extra class have made me unbelievably grateful. Losing my grandpa after waiting three years to go skiing with him have taught me to take opportunities, like going snowboarding!!, when I get them. Living apart from my immediate family for 2 years has taught me to relish in time with my siblings. This week will be sweet sweet revenge. This week, I'm going to show all the crap that comes with life that it's nothing compared to the blessings at my fingertips.

DR. SEUSS QUOTES

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

"Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more.”
~ Dr. Seuss

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.”

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own.
And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”

“You are you. Now, isn't that pleasant?”

CHRISTMAS QUOTES

If I were a medical man, I should prescribe a holiday to any patient who considered his work important.
-- Bertrand Russell

While I can run, I'll run; while I can walk, I'll walk; when I can only crawl, I'll crawl. But by the grace of God, I'll always be moving forward

May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility
-- Mary Anne Radmacher

When you're down to nothing, God is up to something. The faithful see the invisible, believe the incredible and then receive the impossible.


•"As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same." ~ Donald E. Westlake

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-Ralph Emerson

If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Wishing you happiness.
-- Helen Keller

2011

HIGH SCHOOL.
Write ups are due. What to say?
These past few years have blown my mind.
I've stopped clinging to expecations and danced in the freedom of uncertanity.
I would never had suspected the series of events that took place in my highschool years. I'm excited to be done. I'm ready. The end of high school comes as no surprise.

I never expected to learn so much, encounter so many inspiring people nor have so much fun through out my high school years. The abundance of blessings I recieved have taught me to dream with out limitation. I'm excited to discover what God has in store for me next! Congratulations grads of 2011!
"It don't have to be perdy; it just has to be loud!" - Mike Patin

PSKLCJ

I'm happy.
I have the right amount of grief/stress to keep me grounded and the right amount of blessings to make me enjoy every day. Sometimes I get incredibly frusterated and angry at everything, but most days I am blown away with how lucky I am.
It's all the more amazing that I had some part in that. I decided to be happy; I worked hard to get to where I am today. I still work hard. Because of that, happiness is something I rarely take forgranted. I'm sure I don't appreciate it as much as I should, but at least I'm on the right track.
Thanks to all my friends and others who have helped me make the right decisions that have gotten me on the right track :) <3 You know who you are, and I love you <3

PART ONE

"The sun and planets revolve around the earth...
The suicidal lemming...
Tobacco smoking is not harmful... (While there was good reason to suspect that tobacco was harmful... there was no positive proof. Even after the tide had all but turned, many heavy smoking medical professionals behaved as though the lack of positive proof of harm meant it was safe. [T]obacco industry [did] their own studies. Probably many such studies were discarded for every one that was actually published. It wouldn’t be necessary to cook results. Just be selective in which studies saw the light of day)...
The average adult should drink eight 8-ounce glasses of water per day...
This may or may not be a fallacy. It is accepted as fact by nutritionists even though it has never been proven in a scientific experiment. Such an experiment would be very difficult to design and control."

The scary thing is "The influence of special interests on scientific proof is even more of a problem now than it was 50 years ago. More and more research institutions and scholarly journals get part of their funding from private industry. If a respectable journal receives a paper with good solid research, they will publish the paper even if they know it could annoy one of their financial supporters. But what about a flawed paper? Most research projects have minor flaws of one sort or another. I’m guessing that a flawed paper which makes a supporter unhappy is sure to be rejected. On the other hand, a flawed paper which benefits a supporter will be published."
http://home.cogeco.ca/~allan/fallacies.html

Have you ever accepted the answer "just because"? Have you made any assumptions about the world that may not be entirely true? Have you ever passed on information that was a little bit off? How can we be confident in what is the truth? What source do you rely on as your guiding light? Maybe no one has the answers... but I could be wrong, who knows?

Ages ago, the earth was commonly accepted as flat. It was taught in schools and was difficult to disprove. Now the opposite is taught and accepted. What's the difference between then and now? That we're right? They thought they were right. That we're relying on scientific evidence? Well, that we're relying on the scientific evidence of others? Teachers of that era believed in their sources at least as much as we do in ours. I, personally, believe the earth to be spherical based on the textbooks I have read, movies I have watched and pictures I have seen. Basing beliefs on evidence provided by others has proved faulty throughout history several times over. It seems true nonetheless. I see no flaws in the theory; it makes sense. However, making sense or following logic does not correlate to being factual. Two opposing statements can both make sense, even though one must be wrong. Trusting gut instincts is unreliable as well; they vary from person to person, culture to culture, generation to generation. Perhaps the truth varies in such a way. Is truth not constant? Is reality only a flicker of the moment? If things are constantly changing, how can we expect truth be a constant? If the truth is not stable, does it even exist?

TADA!

Sometimes, I just want to scream.

I can't put my finger on it. Sometimes you can never find words for what you most desperately want to convey. I'm sure I'm not the only one ever laking an explanation. The funny thing is, eventually the emotions do overflow and speak for themselves, but when they do, I stuff them down. I hide in my room when my emotions spill the truth. With others, I only try to rationalize. Discussing feelings; trying to make sense of them. However, sometimes things just don't make sense. I wish I could just let my emotions speak for themselves.


Sometimes, I want to forget reason and just scream.

Hmmm :]

Last night I had a vivid dream of being in 'my' bedroom (it was completely different from the one I am in now). It was a huge basement or something, but I only used part of it. The part I used was very small and cramped and one day I decided to see what I could do about it. I started to rearrange things with some friends, and as I worked I realized what a great space I had and how HUGE my room actually was. It started to look beautiful. It even had a balcony. I went around one of the walls, into the storage place I guess. There was a whole bunch of crap there. Just boxes and 'kegs' and chairs. I started to push things to the side, and then .. I think it was my cousin Geoff, and some other people came in and friendly asked what I was doing. I told them I was just trying to move this piece of furniture in here to make room in my bedroom and they started clearing out the space through the two back glass doors. It was immediately empty, and there was a brick wall visible between the two doors. I started talking with my friends, definitely one of them was Jenn, about how I could make this an art room! I could get all of my friends to come and paint it. I rearranged things.. and it was wonderful and warm and pretty and HUGE. Ahahah that's what she said ;) ... that's all I can remember now.

It was such a VIVID dream. It was really nice. I just felt so safe and warm. Maybe it had something to do with putting my blanket in the dryer before bed ;) I used to dream about bedrooms all the time! Usually it was with my sister, the one I used to share a room with. We would live in this big house and discover secret or hidden bedrooms. HUGE rooms with lots of furniture and space. We would just spend the entire time exploring the room and making it ours. I thought it was interesting that I dreamed on bedrooms again last night. SO I GOOGLED IT.

Bedroom
To dream that you are in the bedroom, signifies aspects of yourself that you keep private. It is also indicative of your sexual nature and intimate relations.

What do you think it means?

No time for perfection. Not tonight.

There is so much to be thankful for. I'd like to encourage you to look around. I don't care who you are or what your situation is. We are blessed in many beautiful ways. I hope you truly appreciate all that you have. I know I don't.

I appreciate a lot of it though, the big and the small stuff, materialistic and otherwise. There is just too much for me to take in. This week I will try to focus on certain areas throughout the day. Maybe one day I will choose my house. I will pick out all the wonderful contraptions, like a fridge or closet, that I take for granted everyday. These things are not a birth right. In Canada they're are a necessity, but not in other places. They could be gone tomorrow. Anything and everything may be gone tomorrow. Anyone may be gone tomorrow.

Take this moment to be thankful for something. Take every moment to be full of wonder at what we have at our fingertips. Take every moment and appreciate it. Our moments are limited, no one knows how much time they have. Your time might be up tomorrow, or in a few hours.

Things change fast. Appreciate your blessings, don't push them aside before its time. In the end, all will be taken away.

Maybe I shouldn't do Lit homework before bed.

Try listening to the rain. What is it saying?

Recently, I've realized the steady rhythm of the rain is my favourite lullaby. Slipping under the blankets on a stormy night, I peacefully slide the window open, inviting the subtle sound to pour into my room. The draft of crisp air whispers bed time stories of life and death, poverty and riches as well as loneliness and love. Affectionately receiving our sleepy souls, darkness restlessly cradles the world into its expected slumber. My blanket constantly comforts me; silently reassuring me that, at the end of the day, I will have all that I need. At every toss or turn my loyal stuffed animals serenade me with songs passed on through generations. Brilliance lies within the melody of the rain. It unites everything into a brilliant symphony and a humble poem. After letting the rain massage my memory, I always detect an upturned rainbow stretched across my cheek.

New.

September marks the beginning of a new school year. With a new year, why not begin a new blog? Leave all my quieries and ponderings of the previous year to gather dust in "Just Jump" and dive into untainted territory in "The good".

Ridding of last years mind set will open my mind to the new variety of challenges and opportunities of grade 12. The lessons from last year will not be forgotten, but they will not be focused on. No one likes to live in a rut.

Here's to moving forward and leaving the past where it belongs.