new blog.

change in season -> new blog.

It's called Raw.

http://raw-peebs.blogspot.com/

Real-ity

So prom came off with out a hitch :) I mean, no, things weren't perfect.. but they were pretty darn good!
We were an hour late.. but when I got to the park to take pictures my date Shaun Riley gave me a beautiful corsache, in which he had intertwined a ribbon from my dress in. Then walking side by side, he said he was finally excited for grad now that I was there.
We drove a legit military vehicle to prom, but the wind made my fake eyelashes almost fall over and threatened the fake curls in my hair.
The dinner was delicious, but somehow I wasn't hungry. The coffee warmed me up from the inside out quite nicely and the dance floor was expandable!
The unofficial after party for the entire grad class ended up being too far away so we went to a local dry one at my friends house and had a sober night laughing our butts off and just being the kids that we are.

Highlight of the night : Marco Polo at Joels house.

AHHHHHHH!

I got my N!!! YESSS!!! Now all I need is a car.. and some more money.. everything is so expensive :( Luckily I have a job though so I get this awesome thing called a pay check that refills my bank account bi weekly!

My friend Kelsey slept over on Wednesday because my psycho french teacher has given us a huge project. I like Mme Testa, but not the project. Anyways, so yesterday I woke up with one of my besties, finished off a project .. or so I thought.. and then took my drivers test... which did terribly on! To be honest, you'd have to be a TERRIBLE driver to fail that thing... but so many people do! It's strange... Maybe he was just in a good mood because it was his first lesson of the day.

Then my wonderful cousin Geoff let me drive to starbucks to get him coffee while I waited for him to finish  a meeting, and then he let me take the car to school! SWEEET! AHHH! Then I picked up my little cousin from her friend's house :) Then I had to go to a first aid thing. Unfortunately I wasn't able to use on of the cars because both Geoff and Diane needed one, but Geoff drove me to the course on the AMAZING motorcycle his friend LENT him! It was AWESOME! I love motorcycles! Then I had a cool talk with Diane which was nice because I feel like our time together is few and far between because we're both so busy!

Anyways.. so yesterday was good.. but now I have a french project to memorize :(

But TODAY IS MY LAST DAY OF HIGHSCHOOL.. EVER!!!! After school is my stage crossing and then we go to lock in! :) And then I have a blind date on Saturday :D And then I'm going to Edmonton next Thursday :) I AM SO HAPPY :)

Stupid French! Why must thou taint it all?

GRAD.

Here I am; nails manicured, toes pedicured, new ring in place, face mask drying, chilling commando in summer PJ's. My best friend Raven is catching her beauty sleep, dreaming adventures she'll never remember. The past couple of weeks have been filled with phases of excitement and dread. The emotions alternate without warning or cause and sometimes just blatantly blend. Now, here I am; the night before prom.

Knowing that tomorrow will be a day I will remember for the rest of my life is slightly intimidating. The lack of connection between me and the school, me and my school mates is slightly disappointing. Trying to make sure all the friends I do have enjoy themselves seems impossible.

Lately, I've been realizing that I'm kind of a dick. I don't like pretending; I would rather be alone than fake. I'm not one to be pushed around; I'm not one to put my feelings last all the time. I feel people need to solve their own problems, and seek help if need be. I'm all for helping, but I'm not for babying. It's impossible to make everyone happy.

So tomorrow, I'm just going to relax (whilst running around all day) and be happy. I'm not going to waste time worrying. If my friend has an issue, let her come to me and we'll try to solve it together. If things escalate,  there's always an exit. Rather than being a tense jerk, I'll just be a chill cucumber and remember the bigger picture.

I'll let my emotions roll and just keep my feet grounded. Goodbyes are a strange thing and I've never been very good with them. It'll sting to see everyone with their family and what not, but I wouldn't be able to get along with my parents for the day so it'd just make a mess. I'm excited to do this with Geoff and Diane though. I never thought I'd end up here. .. and this is only the beginning of the adventure.

EAT PRAY LOVE.

EAT PRAY LOVE

“What’s got you all wadded up?” he drawls, toothpick in mouth, as usual.
“Don’t ask” I say, but then I start talking and tell him every bit of it, concluding with, “And worst of all, I can’t stop obsessing over David. I thought I was over him, but it’s all coming up again.”
He says, “Give it another six months, you’ll feel better.”
“I’ve already given it twelve months, Richard.”
“Then give it six more. Just keep throwin’ six months at it till it goes away. Stuff like this takes time.”
I exhale hotly though my nose, bull-like.
“Groceries,” Richard says, “listen to me. Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it – in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. Take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out here in India.”
“But I really loved him.”
“Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don’t you see what happened? This guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching. I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that’s just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That’s just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, Groceries – you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It’s your destiny. Don’t laugh.”
“I’m not laughing.” I was actually crying. “And please don’t laugh at me now, but I think the reason it’s so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate.”
“He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. It’s over, Groceries. David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of your marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it’s over. Problem is, you can’t accept that his relationship had a real short shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby – you’re just lickin’ at the empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.”

“But I love him.”

“So love him.”

“But I miss him.”

“So miss him.
Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you’ll be really alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she’s really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in – God will rush in – and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.”
“But I wish me and David could —“
He cuts me off. “See, now that’s your problem. You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.”



Short story for English

Dithering||Invincible

Light fell on the sleepy faces of her wealthy peers as she walked through the entrance. With a sudden shocking jolt the door slammed behind her. The warm summer sun wavered, and was quickly replaced with glaring fluorescent lights as she stumbled down the seemingly endless, eerie corridor searching in a sea of strangers for a familiar face – or a sole friendly one. Instead, she was greeted with scowls or otherwise wholly ignored as the detached teens fiddled with their newest technological devices.

On Sunridge Secondary’s website the building was comparable to a brilliant star – bright enough to be the sun itself. The programs, the grounds, the academics had seemed surreal. On the drive she couldn’t contain her excitement; she struggled to keep her composure as she hugged her dad farewell. He had worked relentlessly over the last there years to stockpile enough funds for her return to private schooling for her grade 10 year. His upbringing had chained him with so many restrictions. As he suffered from his lack of education, he had vowed to create a way for his daughter to soar.

Many of her elementary schoolmates were enrolled here, and she had wandered through the hallways last week (when she picked up her timetable); nevertheless, Shelley became hesitant and felt terribly lost. She was drowning.

She glanced up once more before relinquishing all hope when she saw his smile. Never before had a smile sent such paralyzing confusion down her spine. Never before had she imagined that she would be bewildered by this boy’s simple upturned lips. Though no longer the pudgy eleven year old she remembered, she knew without a doubt that this was Josh Campbell; his hair was the same simple shade of blonde in the same simple short cut and his solid blue eyes still held that distinctive delight for life. She could never mistake that smile.

That smile had stared at her – at the world – day in and day out. It withstood early mornings, always first in the classroom and always the one caught ingesting a bogey. Always the first to release a laugh at the teacher’s terrible jokes or offer encouragement to a student presenting, it somehow managed to tolerate taunting, harassment and cruelty from peers and survived ensuing solitude. Never a silent smile: standing up for those in distress no matter the consequence. His smile allowed him to soar over adversity. Though Josh was her neighbor and classmate, Shelley did not see the strength of his silly smile until the day she thought it was finally shattered forever.

*

The yellow tape blocking off the street in front of her driveway the day his smile melted had caught her off guard. The cop cars around her townhouse complex froze her heart at the thought that her siblings could have been hurt on their walk home. Seeing her family moments later at a neighbor’s house instantly thawed her disposition and she was oblivious to the scene – her loved ones were safe.

It still didn’t hit her when his smile was vacant from the mass of her dimply peers the next day. However, it hit her as her teacher’s tears hit the desk. He struggled to share the news. Josh had been run over.  Josh was so enraptured by the simple, friendly and spontaneous wave of the teacher’s son that he ran towards the son – oblivious to oncoming traffic.

When the teacher found the words, he talked of Josh’s incessant smile. His blurred eyes leaked when he spoke of how immense Josh’s grin would be if he was there that day; he loved school. All the students made cards and posters – hoping Josh’ smile would spread across his face the moment he woke up; bare hospital walls are far from comforting. Shelley remembered her faith slipping as the process of updating cards and letters repeated again and again and again.

He would never smile again; he had been stripped of his wings. Nine months later he finally woke up from his coma. His family moved to a wheelchair accessible house and (no longer neighbors) Shelley didn’t know when she would see him again. She never thought she’d see that smile again.

*

Nonetheless, there it was staring at her – at the world. The sound of his laughter wafted her direction and rendered her guilty. Apparently, he gripped a walker now (rather than stuck in a wheelchair). Though his muscles contracted awkwardly, he was walking down the hallway. The self-pity she had felt coming down the hallway moments earlier made Shelley –fully mobile- feel incredibly self-centered. He was speaking with someone, but with great difficulty due to evident brain damage. What was he saying? Too far away in too noisy a hallway, his simple message still hit Shelley: resolve is the only wing you need to soar.

To read:

I found a note from awhile ago telling me to read: "All My Friends Are Dead" and "Screw Calm and Get Anrgy"

I have no recollection of what they are about, but I thought I'd repost the note for future reference. :)

Old rants of a young lunatic.

At least every Sunday we would go for a drive. I would sit on the comfortable backseat, always wearing a seat belt. As the wheels turned my mind would wander. Wander from the passing colours, to the cheerful children tunes playing in the background. After awhile, I distracted myself by racing raindrops sliding down the window or fighting with my siblings.

Every time, no matter which way we went, we'd pass by mysterious suburbs. My parents revealing their secrets little by little. If you had asked me then, I would have sworn to have seen Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and Easter bunny in various houses preparing to surprise little kids -just like me- come their specific holiday season. Each house was a soft pastel colour that matched the next. No toys were left in the yard; cars were out of site in the garages. Christmas lights were up for December and down in the new year. Everything followed the unspoken social rule and all was in order. I never thought much about them as a child, just listened and accepted my parent's stories.

As I grew older, I looked a little bit deeper. One house I noticed had a friendly pink interior, another day I noticed another had a burnt red. My friend's parents drove me back home past these quiet suburbs and I began to listen to their new tales about the buildings. Tales that Santa Claus had never really lived there, and I began to wonder if I had ever seen him at all.

I started hearing stories about the neighbourhood from my friends and on the news: stories of corruption. My parent's continued on with their euphoric stories, but they no longer fooled me. I now saw the blood stains on entrances and the skeleton feet creaking through closet doors. My new drivers license and thirst for truth drove me up there to search for myself. I saw anger, deceit, jealousy, perversion and pain in the windows. I pitied the inhabitants until I realized it was just the reflection.

My mom took me for a drive last Sunday, but I can no longer bear to listen to her stories. Gone are the days when I will put on my seat belt and smile and nod as she bullshits her way to our destination. I was clinging to the prospect I was protecting her ignorance, but I've since found out I've been permitting her denial. We'll never get anywhere until she's willing to open her eyes.

HPPYEASTER

I love easter.

This weekend has been amazing. Thursday I worked then went to this little party thing at my friend's house. Finished off a mickey in two hours.. most of it in the last 30 min. Needless to say that is not a very clever idea, especially when I had the flu the weekend before and swore up and down to my cousins that I knew my limit. I would have been fine - I think it was the car ride that did me in though.

I was sitting at the party and the discussion turned towards a boy that I'm particularly fond of I guess you could say. I started texting him, one thing led to another... turns out he lives across the street from where I was. So I walked across the street and met him in his car. He drove up to this place called the Highlands.. which is up the mountain near where my youth leader lives.. and which has an AMAZING view. You can see the states! For some random place in the city it's a pretty good view.

We talked.. but I mostly just remember him explaining the difference between two different types of engines and me telling him I liked how he smells. We ended up kissing, but that's a little fuzzy. We drove for a little more.. and might have kissed again but I don't remember. Then he took me home. I swear he was driving fast and the road was windy so my tummy wasn't too happy by the time I got home. I remember getting out of his car, I remember walking up the steps, I remember the door was unlocked and I remember dropping my purse at the bottom of the steps.

Next thing I remember is Geoff waking me up in the living room at 7 am - apparently I had fallen asleep. Then I remember going to my bed - taking off my clothes but not bothering to put on pjs. Diane bangs my door a couple minutes later - apparently there was puke on the doorstep. Who's could that have been??? In disbelief I scrambled to put some clothes on and go see what she was talking about. As I glanced at last nights dinner on the cement stairs leading to the door I couldn't deny it was mine. I apologized profusly and grabbed the hose. Theres puke on my shoes.. but I still can't actually remember puking.

Geoff came back from his run as I stumbled out of the shower. I went with him to the church to set up chairs - ironically in the same state as I was last time. We made it back to the house and spent the entirety of the day doing yard work - punishment from my last drinking excursions. It was sunny though and not far from enjoyable. Kelsey, my partner in crime, came and helped eventually, and then we ended up going to church for a Good Friday Service with her family. Came home and babysat for the rest of the night. My friend Julia dropped by just as the kids were getting into bed and we stayed up chatting for awhile.. had some good but tough conversations. I'm starting to love this Julia :)

Saturday rolled around, bringing more sunshine and yard work with it. I did get to stay in my pjs for a couple hours though... first time in I don't know how long!  My work was shut down for the weekend. Then I had a handfull of friends come over in the evening for a good ol'poker game. I had a lot of fun :)

I went on an easter egg hunt with my little cousin's in the morning, to find a basket of goodies! XD NOMNOMNOM. Then went to church and listened to an amazing sermon. Went home to see my sister :) Eventually the rest of my family showed up along with my aunt and uncle. Spent the afternoon baking and decorating easter eggs. Ate dinner, went for a walk, made a play with the kids, ate dessert and then asked to go over to my friend's house with my older sister who had decided to sleep over. We weren't allowed, and we just watched desperate housewives and then passed out.

And here I am, my sister left and I've got a million things piled up that I need to get done. My tummy hurts 'cuz I've eaten way too much of everything and my head is groggy from late nights and early mornings. It's been a good weekend :)

breakable.

We can't go it alone.

People are so afraid to ask for help; our fear of judgement and abandonment drive us to hopelessness.

We don't need to do it alone.

Everyone messes up in some way, shape or form. Everyone is messed up in some way, shape or form.

You're not alone, don't kid yourself.

We are all faced with life, and we all have to find some way through it. If you get lost, don't be afraid to ask me for help. I am here; I want to conquer this roller coaster together. It's way less fun alone ;)

extended metaphor explained. whhaaatt??? ;P

RAIN

Tears tears
Pouring down our faces
Overflowing
Forcing a flood.

Who would've noticed
Hidden behind our pearly smiles

That we are in unbearable pain?

That our dreams are bro-
ken and our heart is seared with holes?

No, it takes one bad day too many
to reveal all the cracks in our seemingly perfect visade.

RAIN

Rain rain
Pouring from the gutters
Overflowing drains
Forcing a flood.

Who would've noticed
On a Sunny Day
That the gutters and drains were clogged?
That the umbrellas were bro-
ken and all the shoes have holes?

No, it takes a rainy day
to reveal all the leaks.

Sleepless Rambles

I am feeling a lot of one emotion.. and I'm sitting here at here at the computer, so I thought I'd blog. As I started to sort out my thoughts and try to understand the knot of emotion I realized that I'm just tired. Utterly Exhausted. All the time. I want a day to do nothing. To sleep and eat. Some day :) I am sick, maybe I'll only get worse :P

But I am just tired. its after midnight and I've been up since 5. and I'm sick.

You must think I'm crazy for not going to bed right now, the soonest chance that I've had today. But .. I don't want to. I suppose what I was working on was slightly disturbing and I'd like a good hug.

hahah I hope that was sufficiantely confusing :P

I'm okay, et toi?

I just want to say I'm doing swell.
I am happy. I am extremely content.

I've rediscovered that kindling joy alive within my core. It's an undistinguishable hope.
There are still tears and fears which will come and go, but they add to rather than diminish to the purity of my joy. Emotion add depth to living.

I can cloud it, I can taint it. It won't completly vanish, but the brightness will tarnish. Without careful sparks and attention I could lose it. My decisions have an impact, but now that I've discovered such a joy, I'm going to cling to it as much as possible.

night

two seconds to spare

So I had 5 minutes left on my break, so I was going to type up a little blog... BUT then this lady came and talked to me... so now I have one minute. Let's keep it brief.

It's spring break now for me.
There is a boy that has caught my attention - wouldn't say it's anything more than that. It could go somewhere though, so I'm kind of overly excited.
I'm running three camps this week; I am at work from about 8 am to 5:30. The first two days were really hard because I had no idea what I was doing. Now I've got the swing of things, the kids feel more comfortable with me and things are running smoothly. As much as I might get frusterated with so many kids so much of the time (went home yesterday to babysit and will again today,) I just adore them. They make me laugh true joyful laughter. It's not that they have an amazing sense of humour of course; it's the innocent excitment they radiate, it fills you up with glee and then bubbles out in wonderful, real laughter.
I had a girls night last night with some old friends and some pretty new ones. It was amazing, but I don't think it was a good idea to drink so much and come home so late.
And finally, I met with a new social worker yesterday. She actually seems to give a shit. It's amazing.

PEACE.

BEST.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3, 5-6

NOM NOM NOM

Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
- Anonymous

I am the master of my emotions - I transform fear to love, anger to compassion, pain to comfort, scarcity to abundance, expectation to gratitude, and jealousy to generosity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt


 









I find sentimental peace reliving moments that
have been stained with happiness.
I am surrounded with a sea of faithful love.
Love expected from me, and love left for me.
I am not alone. I never have to be.

As we step into the last semester of highschool and I walk through my last days of being 17, I am letting go of fear.
I'm releasing my hesitations. I'm going for it. I'm exchanging my anxieties for hope and strength.
 I am accepting help and love and trusting in promises. I am going for it.

I'm believing in something bigger.
I'm holding on to love - love of friends, family, God and life.
I surround myself with it by embracing those I hold dear.



Oh me oh my.

He says I need to be rescued.

Does he not see that I can stand on my own? Sure, I'll fall down.

The thing is... I can pick myself up.

No matter how I may wish,

I can't trust his grip because he can't promise
he won't let go.

I'm worried that if I allow myself to lean too much, I'll lose balance.
But today, he is holding on.
And today, I shall enjoy it.

Tomorrow may be a different story,

but why flip forward and miss the good stuff?

Maybe I don't NEED to be rescued, but .. maybe I'd wouldn't mind ;)

overdramaticnessmakesforafine poem :)

Hmmmm
Dead air
Dust bunny monsters
Lets take a skip down the memory path

Sirens hum nightly lullabies
Yells yank from dreamless nights
Icy secrets instantly freeze the heart
Which then melts with sounds of dear friends' laughter

Familiar faces
Familiar messes
Release stress
In the form of anger

I haven't seen a happy ending
Though I feel it's in the past,
I suppose the stories not yet finished.

18

The moments are slipping through my fingertips, steadily running past the cracks I cannot fill. The stream quickens when my grip slacks and if I'm not careful I'll wind up empty handed. We hold the liquid of life in our very own hands. Though I cannot stop its constant dripping, I can seize the experience.

Today I will relish the texture and absorb the colour.
My fingers will paint the rainbow with every touch.
I embrace the splattering mess; covering everything in a magic.
The dark and light fuse, accentuating each other beautifully.

No, I will not let go, nor sit idly by.

I choose to bask in the beauty.

I'm growing younger all the time.

Just watch me.

extended metaphor perhaps? ;)

Enjoy that is which is placed before you.
It may be icky but it'll help you grow big and strong.
If you can't handle this then you won't make it to the good stuff. There is no short cut.
And anyways, if all we got was the good stuff, we'd get sick pretty quick.
Its not like you're the only one eating it either.
We've all got our fill. We're just waiting for you now.
You know, it's not going anywhere unless you do something about it and we're all running out of time.
You can go off to bed, or you can wait around, whining about your plate, while watching the rest of us enjoy the good stuff; we can't wait forever. 
Take a lot of small bites or a few big ones, plug your nose or dilute it with water.
It doesn't really matter how you get through it, just that you do (and you get it IN your mouth, not just make a big mess - just spreading the food everywhere doesn't help.) Understand that we all have our own personal likes and we all have our individual dislikes and we all have a choice. We can pick up our fork and knife and deal with it when dished out an awful serving, or we can starve. You'll learn quick that we don't always get the luxury of a buffet but understand that food is food and the good stuff will come if you just pull through the yucky parts. Who knows, maybe you'll appreciate it in the end?

Wisdom.

Getting my wisdom teeth out today! .. in 40 min actually!

smile silly :)

 Life is full of pain. It is full of tears and screams. But in the wonder of a smile we find magic that makes it all worth while.

 Appreciate the beauty in a smile. Scout out simple genuine grins and the joyful strength they radiate. The sheer flicker of a smile reveals a child's innocence, a friend's compassion and a dying man's hope. No, smiles cannot offer shelter in a rainstorm; they cannot erase the crap of the world. However, smiles are the sunshine that reveals a rainbow; they are a promise of something more. They offer reassurance that, whatever the heart ache, it is all worth it. So look around, soak up the flashing cheerfulness all around you. Smiles are the fuel for the soul.

G U E S S W H A T ?
SEMESTER 1 IS DONE WITH TOMORROW -besides me re-writing the lit exam :/
YAAAY :D
BIO PROVINCIAL HERE I COME!

sleepypants

An ocean of emptiness
In the fleeing moonlight
Receding and returning as the tide.
Drowning those ill equipped,
Weak.
You left me shipwrecked,
Alone.
I never learned to swim,
only float.

When the wind blows, the waves rage.
Overcome by the storm, left longing for a rock
to cling to while the tempest passes.
The lighthouse
in the distance
is blurred
with the sunset
leaving
me unable to distinguish
the guiding light.

How did we get here?
Where are we going?
It's times like these
When all I long for is a beacon of guidance, for
That embrace; physical assurance that
I am loved, that
Everything is okay
that I am not
Alone.
Longing for childhood
comforts and assurances

long gone and
e x t i n g u i s h e d

the subliminal messages made me do it.

RAAWWWRRRR ROARS THE HOMEWORK MONSTER
I WILL EAT YOU UP IN ONE BIG BITE HE SCREAMED
I'VE SURROUNDED YOU AND YOU HAVE NO WAY OUT.
OH NO! NOT THE PUDDING! DON'T THROW THE PUDDING AT ME.
******************************************************************
The forensics team walked in 2 hours later to find shreds of text books and ashes, of what appeared to previously be binders, clogging up the sink and the toilet.

HOW DISGUSTING ROARED the CSI guy and CALLED GHOSTBUSTERS TO COME WASH IT AWAY.

He swore he would never lay eyes on such atrocities again.

All the evidence has hence been destroyed; all that remains is a little speck of ink dotted on the faucet.

We'll take a microscope to examine. What does that say?

GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK ANNE.

How strange.

5.4.3.2.1 - blastoff;

Cookies.
Chocolate.
Coffee.
Cake.
Mousse.

Friends.
Cousins.
Kids.
Friendly Strangers.

Hugs.
High Fives.
Kisses.

Challenges.
Simplicity.

Love.

Hold on to the happy ;)

grownup

If I were you,
You're not.
I'd get a job and focus on getting through university
Then wind up at a dead end job, in an unhappy marriage and with kids you couldn't afford to raise.

I know your decisions
I don't want to make the same mistakes.

I had hoped you wanted better for me.
I wouldn't be so quick to judge, if I were you.
you're not me
and I'll never be you.

success

Pressure
Pressure
Pressure
8 letters
building
onebrick
oneontop
of what?
weakness
distress
crumbles
exposing
f e a r

fear fear faer frea frae

Tear down the wall.
Let the pressure f a l l.
Weakness c r u m b l e.
Distress c r u m b l e.
F e a r s u b s i d e.

In the barren dirt nurture your spirit.
Allow rain to replenish; sustain the splendor.
Close your eyes, admire.
Inhale the bouquet.
Create an empire of life.

Success
Dies
Before
The
Bricks
Disintegrate.

Where as
Beauty Blooms
In Eternity