Old rants of a young lunatic.

At least every Sunday we would go for a drive. I would sit on the comfortable backseat, always wearing a seat belt. As the wheels turned my mind would wander. Wander from the passing colours, to the cheerful children tunes playing in the background. After awhile, I distracted myself by racing raindrops sliding down the window or fighting with my siblings.

Every time, no matter which way we went, we'd pass by mysterious suburbs. My parents revealing their secrets little by little. If you had asked me then, I would have sworn to have seen Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and Easter bunny in various houses preparing to surprise little kids -just like me- come their specific holiday season. Each house was a soft pastel colour that matched the next. No toys were left in the yard; cars were out of site in the garages. Christmas lights were up for December and down in the new year. Everything followed the unspoken social rule and all was in order. I never thought much about them as a child, just listened and accepted my parent's stories.

As I grew older, I looked a little bit deeper. One house I noticed had a friendly pink interior, another day I noticed another had a burnt red. My friend's parents drove me back home past these quiet suburbs and I began to listen to their new tales about the buildings. Tales that Santa Claus had never really lived there, and I began to wonder if I had ever seen him at all.

I started hearing stories about the neighbourhood from my friends and on the news: stories of corruption. My parent's continued on with their euphoric stories, but they no longer fooled me. I now saw the blood stains on entrances and the skeleton feet creaking through closet doors. My new drivers license and thirst for truth drove me up there to search for myself. I saw anger, deceit, jealousy, perversion and pain in the windows. I pitied the inhabitants until I realized it was just the reflection.

My mom took me for a drive last Sunday, but I can no longer bear to listen to her stories. Gone are the days when I will put on my seat belt and smile and nod as she bullshits her way to our destination. I was clinging to the prospect I was protecting her ignorance, but I've since found out I've been permitting her denial. We'll never get anywhere until she's willing to open her eyes.