HPPYEASTER

I love easter.

This weekend has been amazing. Thursday I worked then went to this little party thing at my friend's house. Finished off a mickey in two hours.. most of it in the last 30 min. Needless to say that is not a very clever idea, especially when I had the flu the weekend before and swore up and down to my cousins that I knew my limit. I would have been fine - I think it was the car ride that did me in though.

I was sitting at the party and the discussion turned towards a boy that I'm particularly fond of I guess you could say. I started texting him, one thing led to another... turns out he lives across the street from where I was. So I walked across the street and met him in his car. He drove up to this place called the Highlands.. which is up the mountain near where my youth leader lives.. and which has an AMAZING view. You can see the states! For some random place in the city it's a pretty good view.

We talked.. but I mostly just remember him explaining the difference between two different types of engines and me telling him I liked how he smells. We ended up kissing, but that's a little fuzzy. We drove for a little more.. and might have kissed again but I don't remember. Then he took me home. I swear he was driving fast and the road was windy so my tummy wasn't too happy by the time I got home. I remember getting out of his car, I remember walking up the steps, I remember the door was unlocked and I remember dropping my purse at the bottom of the steps.

Next thing I remember is Geoff waking me up in the living room at 7 am - apparently I had fallen asleep. Then I remember going to my bed - taking off my clothes but not bothering to put on pjs. Diane bangs my door a couple minutes later - apparently there was puke on the doorstep. Who's could that have been??? In disbelief I scrambled to put some clothes on and go see what she was talking about. As I glanced at last nights dinner on the cement stairs leading to the door I couldn't deny it was mine. I apologized profusly and grabbed the hose. Theres puke on my shoes.. but I still can't actually remember puking.

Geoff came back from his run as I stumbled out of the shower. I went with him to the church to set up chairs - ironically in the same state as I was last time. We made it back to the house and spent the entirety of the day doing yard work - punishment from my last drinking excursions. It was sunny though and not far from enjoyable. Kelsey, my partner in crime, came and helped eventually, and then we ended up going to church for a Good Friday Service with her family. Came home and babysat for the rest of the night. My friend Julia dropped by just as the kids were getting into bed and we stayed up chatting for awhile.. had some good but tough conversations. I'm starting to love this Julia :)

Saturday rolled around, bringing more sunshine and yard work with it. I did get to stay in my pjs for a couple hours though... first time in I don't know how long!  My work was shut down for the weekend. Then I had a handfull of friends come over in the evening for a good ol'poker game. I had a lot of fun :)

I went on an easter egg hunt with my little cousin's in the morning, to find a basket of goodies! XD NOMNOMNOM. Then went to church and listened to an amazing sermon. Went home to see my sister :) Eventually the rest of my family showed up along with my aunt and uncle. Spent the afternoon baking and decorating easter eggs. Ate dinner, went for a walk, made a play with the kids, ate dessert and then asked to go over to my friend's house with my older sister who had decided to sleep over. We weren't allowed, and we just watched desperate housewives and then passed out.

And here I am, my sister left and I've got a million things piled up that I need to get done. My tummy hurts 'cuz I've eaten way too much of everything and my head is groggy from late nights and early mornings. It's been a good weekend :)

breakable.

We can't go it alone.

People are so afraid to ask for help; our fear of judgement and abandonment drive us to hopelessness.

We don't need to do it alone.

Everyone messes up in some way, shape or form. Everyone is messed up in some way, shape or form.

You're not alone, don't kid yourself.

We are all faced with life, and we all have to find some way through it. If you get lost, don't be afraid to ask me for help. I am here; I want to conquer this roller coaster together. It's way less fun alone ;)

extended metaphor explained. whhaaatt??? ;P

RAIN

Tears tears
Pouring down our faces
Overflowing
Forcing a flood.

Who would've noticed
Hidden behind our pearly smiles

That we are in unbearable pain?

That our dreams are bro-
ken and our heart is seared with holes?

No, it takes one bad day too many
to reveal all the cracks in our seemingly perfect visade.

RAIN

Rain rain
Pouring from the gutters
Overflowing drains
Forcing a flood.

Who would've noticed
On a Sunny Day
That the gutters and drains were clogged?
That the umbrellas were bro-
ken and all the shoes have holes?

No, it takes a rainy day
to reveal all the leaks.

Sleepless Rambles

I am feeling a lot of one emotion.. and I'm sitting here at here at the computer, so I thought I'd blog. As I started to sort out my thoughts and try to understand the knot of emotion I realized that I'm just tired. Utterly Exhausted. All the time. I want a day to do nothing. To sleep and eat. Some day :) I am sick, maybe I'll only get worse :P

But I am just tired. its after midnight and I've been up since 5. and I'm sick.

You must think I'm crazy for not going to bed right now, the soonest chance that I've had today. But .. I don't want to. I suppose what I was working on was slightly disturbing and I'd like a good hug.

hahah I hope that was sufficiantely confusing :P